Gaining Rep

[CameronB]

Well, the thread by "Master Chief" is now closed, but I wanted to put some feedback in on it anyways, and perhaps garner a few chuckles along the way.

Gaining Rep is EASY!

All you need to do is spell 95% or more of your words correctly. Use as intelligent a level of vocabulary as is reasonably possible. Speaking and writing well will convey to others that you are a useful and valueable member of the community, and any opinions you express automatically gain more apparent validity. Sure, you might be a useless windbag on welfare, but this is the internet baby! You can be James Freakin' Bond!

Okay, now that we've got a solid foundation, we can build upon it to create an even better public portrayal of ourselves. Among the following, you can choose, and combine as many of them as is reasonable.

Be informative whenever possible. Everything you say has to be relevant, useful, and most of all interesting. Avoid verbosity for the sake of pure verbosity. Simply adding tons and tons of extra characters will only detract from your intent, and discourage interest. Your readers will soon be droning off like college kids in Statistics class. You'll be creating a sleepfest. Buddy, this ain't gonna help anything.

Humor. Everything you write must be funny. And not just "Oh, I smiled when I read that" type funny, I mean like infectiously funny. Like a contagion of laughter that 46 months from now will have people returning to your post to reread your efervescent words.

Entertain! I cannot stress this enough. All you have to do is write posts that are more entertaining than watching Terminator 2 in Hi-Def. Your paragraphs should be funnier than "The Best of Saturday Night Live". Make sure that Johnny Carson, David Letterman, and Conan O'Brian all put together and multiplied by Chris Farley to the Power of Eddy Murphy still could not equal your unparalled capabilities.

Charm: You have to seem like the world's most likeable fellow. Just imagine charming people like Harrison Ford, Robert Wagner, Sean Connery, Humphrey Bogart, or for girls, uh, I dunno. I guess Julia Roberts, Ellen Degeneres, Raquel Welch, and maybe Joan Cusack?. Now, all you need to do is be 10 times more charming and endearing than all of those people put together.

Style: Your words should convey a sense that you are the coolest person on the planet. You aren't allowed to ever claim this, and it's probably best that you never actually mention the phrase. Still, when reading what you have posted, every human being on the face of the earth should be thinking: "Gee, I really wish I was this person. He/she is so smart, witty, funny, cool, charming, compassionate, sensible, practical, down-to-earth, capable, well rounded, cultured, forgiving, good looking, fun to chat with, and an impeccable driver".

As you can see, with only a few simple rules, becoming popular is easy. So, take a deep breath, steady yourself, and become "cool"!

This unpublished essay brought to you by CameronB, a socially functional nerd, with a head for world conquest, and a small modicum of literary talent..

[Condition_Red]

Is there a point to this? I missed it somewhere.

[Jaron]

I believe the point is listed under the user's name in the mini-bio box at top. This isn't Broadway, a guide on how to become popular isn't necessary. If someone has to act a special way to get points from us, perhaps there's something they need to actually change instead of just pretending.

[zulu]

For laughs I believe. And he isn't actually "banned" as the words under his name would suggest....must've put that there himself.

[CameronB]

Not really a point, per se, more like I simply felt like writing a satirical essay, because... Well, because inspiration struck. If you get the humor in it, cool. If not, well, hey, no accounting for taste, right?

I just saw the thread on Reputation and thought "Hey... we don't actually have any sort of guide on how to be a great forum member. That sort of idea is so ludicrous, I have to tackle it!" When creativity strikes, I have to run with it.

So yeah... Call it a humorous entry to our site here.

Is there a point to this?

Why do you ask? Lemme guess: "It seems stupid, to say the least"?

I'm curious to know.

Edit:
HEY! Someone finally noticed my "Status" under my name! For some reason, when I saw we could make our own custom titles, "Banned User" felt too good to pass up.

[mahgnillig]

Originally Posted by Condition_Red

Is there a point to this? I missed it somewhere.

Well I thought it was funny

Thanks for the laugh CameronB. BTW, I noticed your "Banned User" thing and it took me a couple of minutes to realise it was in jest

[Condition_Red]

Originally Posted by CameronB

So yeah... Call it a humorous entry to our site here.

Why do you ask? Lemme guess: "It seems stupid, to say the least"?

I'm curious to know.

I'll oblige an explanation so that no one gets the wrong idea.

When I opened this thread, I had just finished reading another thread about the recent rise in frivolous and unnecessary postings on these boards. Opening a thread entitled "Gaining Rep" in the Forum Comments, Suggestions, Bugs forum, I was expecting a serious thread concerning this issue, as it has been pointed out that many people are posting, just to be posting, with no real purpose.

Personally, I think this is humorous now that I recognize it for what it is, but it could very easily be taken as a guide on how 'not' to act on the forums. And I think maybe it would have been more appropriate as Random Room fodder. I've got no problem with humor, trust me on this, but I just missed the point here. It wasn't clear to me from the outset that it was meant to be funny and therefore I saw only Spam.

From a strictly academic standpoint, the writing was pretty good. Keep it up.

[Rogue42]

Originally Posted by CameronB

Charm: You have to seem like the world's most likeable fellow. Just imagine charming people like ......Ellen Degeneres,...... .

Overall well written and funny. But Ellen Charming? Uh no, not in my book.

[CameronB]

Originally Posted by Condition_Red

... It wasn't clear to me from the outset that it was meant to be funny and therefore I saw only Spam...

Hey, not a problem in the least... No hard feelins or nothing... After all, humor is subjective. I thank you for your comments. Cheers, mate.

Originally Posted by Rogue42

Overall well written and funny. But Ellen Charming? Uh no, not in my book.

[pretending to get defensive] Um... I needed a friggan name, a'ight? [/defensive]
And like, uh... I recently watched Finding Nemo, and I think Elled did a great job portraying the character of Dory...

At any rate, if any of you smiled in the least, I've done some good.

[Party of A-5]

I reped you for this thread: about how to get rep, but presented in a satirical way. So what happens now?