For the men out there

Iron_Shadow · #1 (**permalink**) 03-02-2007, 11:42 AM

It's little long, but I thought you might enjoy it if you haven't seen it already.

Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1"

ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon

or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

And no, we are never going to think of it that

way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problemonlyif you want help solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a

Problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,don'tExpect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the

other one

1. You can either ask us to do something

Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did

NOTneed directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A

color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have</SPAN>no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it

willbe scratched.

We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...

Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're th inking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,

or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.

RoundIS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Big Daddy · #2 (**permalink**) 03-02-2007, 11:48 AM

I've seen it before, but it is still good...and correct.

bron340 · #3 (**permalink**) 03-02-2007, 11:53 AM

I asked my future wife to remember those...she just laughed at me.

TBird · #4 (**permalink**) 03-02-2007, 11:55 AM

Gotta put that into my next pre-nup haha

simmy952 · #5 (**permalink**) 03-02-2007, 12:49 PM

How true it is, Worrhammer. You heard about the man who finally figured out women????? He died laughing before he told anybody.

malaki · #6 (**permalink**) 03-02-2007, 01:47 PM

Good thing I didn't use these rules when I told her about the Stabilizer purchases.

Iron_Shadow · #7 (**permalink**) 03-02-2007, 02:06 PM

Funniest thing to me about those rules is that my wife forwarded them to me a couple months ago. I told her, "since you sent them to me, then you agree to abide by them". Her reply, I couldn't really make it out too well with all the laughing and rolling on the floor. Oh well.